We Could End Up Real Close

Call me Jill. Everything else is semantics.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartlessFreedom

If My Dog Could Talk

Dog: WAT DOING
Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
Dog: WHERE GO
Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
Dog: CAN I COME
Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
Dog: I COME TOO
Dog: WAT DOING
Me: I need to open this door.
Dog: I HALP
Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
Dog: I HALP
Me: Sigh.
Dog: WHERE GOING
Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
Dog: CAN I COME
Me: Sure.
Dog: I SIT IN LAP
Me: No please don't you are-
Dog: I SIT IN LAP
Me: No there's no room and-
Dog: LAP
Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
Dog: RIGHT HERE
Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me: I AM
Dog: I SIT IN LAP
Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
Me: .......
539,927 notes

7 years ago - 539,927 notes

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  8. departed-pronouns said: Sounds wonderful honestly.
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